My latest developments

I have started attending school beginning of this year and it has been OK so far. In the beginning, I didn't like the idea very much cause mommy and kakak always wakes me up so early to get me dressed up and sending me off to that strange place.

But now, I like the teacher and I like my new friends there. I don't always wake up cheery but once I am there, I am ok. I like my teacher, Mrs. Hui and her helper, Mrs. Lee.

This Chinese New Year is fun. I started liking my Auntie Sarah (she's 6, I think) cause she is old enough to know how to play with me. Not like my cousin (she's 4).

My mom thinks I have a personality clash with that particular cousin (to protect the cousin, her name shall not be mentioned). I don't think it's my fault or her fault but we seem to have problems communicating and understanding each other. Most importantly, we find sharing toys a problem.

My mom has been losing sleep and HAIR because of this problem.

 

It seems to me that life as a developing toddler is really tough. I can't seem to do anything right and I feel a lot of anger these days. During the weekend, my grandfather decided to put our 10-year-old dog to sleep while I was watching. I don't suppose I understand the significance of death at this point but it did trouble me a little to see that "Blacky" was lifeless after those two Doctors left. I felt a little strange but I don't know what death is.

Then this morning, my grandfather decided to go out scouting for a new dog. We tagged along with my mom and with Baby Jared.

Everything was fine until two shops later, I felt grouchy and wanted to sleep right there and then. Since my kakak did not follow us on this trip, my mom was carrying my baby brother, Jared. When I am sleepy, I get really easily dissed at things not going my way....and it didn't.

I wanted to be carried. MY mom was carrying Jared. I asked my mom (very politely at first) to stop carrying Jared, drop him on the floor and carry me, instead.

My mom said "No". I threw a tantrum and my mom hissed at me "Wait till you get home, Josh. You're going to get it from me if you don't stop all this crying". I cried even more.

I don't know how to tell the world that I am feeling something very strongly. I don't even know what I am feeling to begin with, you know and it upsets me that whatever I am feeling is not felt by the rest of the world. Why can't everyone understand me?